OF CHARMS & KARMA

Rolling the dice and hoping for a heart.

2012-01-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

20 days, I wish I didn't have to count time.

Selfish and close-minded. Am I? I missed the chance to say goodbye to my grandmother today. She's off to Singapore for a month. I'm leaving soon. Why didn't I realize?

I want to stand up for myself but I need the right time and moment. I'm not superwoman you know. I HAVE FLAWS. And if I don't embrace it, who will? I'm awful with timing, I'm sorry, but one day, you'll understand. I'm fine now, I hope you are too. I can't stand seeing you being anything but happy. I admit you're right, because I let myself be wrong. Respect, that I will always give you. Will you return some?

Sleeping at 3 in the morning after a fit of tears is rewarding in some ways. These are the only times I even sleep past 8-9 and still be able to take a nap AND still want more sleep. Sleep has never been such a good friend. Downside, triple eyelids and well defined slit eyes. One of the reasons I couldn't go out for dimsum with my buds today.

I've re-editted this blog, more or less. And I'll spend some time grooming you too. I haven't been faithful to you I apologize.

Midnight embraces.

This holiday. This holiday has been the best I've experienced so far. But the best thing, being reunited. Family. Muse. Yeah yeah you might think that "Oh, another sappy love story again," but halt your thoughts, I'm hearing none of it. You have no idea what it's like to be me. None.

Nice, amazing, awesome, grateful, relief.

These words don't even begin describing what it feels like to be back. It's not the things he does for me, it's the fact that he was there with me. Presence. It counts. Long distance has hardly any ups. The technology that allows communication strengthens and makes it more evident that there's a screen between us. Being able to see and not feel, it sucks. And all you can count on is faith, a mountain full of it. That being said, it does test a lot more in us. Trust and faith. It builds up. And when you see each other face to face again and realize it's mutual, you can't help but smile inside. He once said, it's not a feeling, it's a choice. I'd have it no other way.

Well, here we go again love, it's another two years. Of patience. Of silence. Of distance. Last year was long when I was going through it, but being back in your arms, worth it all over again. Did I regret anything? Not too much cause you see, I still have you. Oh and by the way, your family's too cute.

LDR (in my dictionary at least)

The ups : Having more time to think about who you really are/want to be. ie Who are you without your other half/boyf/hubby/lover/muse? Can you stand on your own?

The downs : Having no shoulder to cry on. That would be dangerous if some other person offered you theirs. Which also unintentionally leads to keeping-feelings-to-self which then leads to solitariness. Or worse.

Missing you? An understatement.

Waking up frowning.

2012-01-13T06:22:00.000+08:00

I have feelings. Yes, I hate fights. Hence, I avoid them.

I hate being upset overnight. I usually do all the forgiving at night. You're forgiven but this time, I'm affected more than usual. It's not only one thing. That was just like a trigger to the bomb. I always say the good and leave the bad and if you stop and think once, just once, do you think I ever told anyone anything about when you sometimes upset me a little? Hardly. Just the good. Because the good is you. And I believe in not hanging dirty linen in public.

I'm a girl too. I could man-up but I would hate switching genders.

First and I don't think is the last.

Happiness uncovered.

2012-01-01T10:29:00.000+08:00

Mood: Happy happy relaxed.

There's no doubt about it, I love home. Nothing gets better than this. I'm happy to be happy and I know everyone is enjoying it too.

First day of 2012 and this marks 29 days since I've been back. Wait pause. TWENTY NINE? DAMNIT THAT WAS FAST. Time flies, like that's a surprise. I've done a lot though, I think I have. No, I have.

Funny thing though, now that we're all back, I still haven't been able to meet up with everyone all at once. Everyone's busy with their own lives now. And I would have to admit so am I. But I guess that's life! We can't patronize another person's life.

I have a pimple on my scalp -.-

I'm finally starting to watch How I Met Your Mother and okay fine, it is funny. I'll be working a bit soon, don't wanna not be doing anything at all of course. And I've been going out almost every other day, I'm actually tired from it all. Sit and relax, let me do just that.

I pray for a blessed and smooth year this year.

New year's resolution?

Don't be influenced anymore, I am me and I shouldn't need others to tell me who they think I am. And of course, GET INTO THE COURSE I WANT! *crosses fingers*

With love,

If it's unspoken, is it unheard?

2011-11-21T10:11:00.000+08:00

So I'll just paste this link here so any future NCEA students might need it. And just in case my cousin approaches me with questions I shall be prepared.

http://www.nobraintoosmall.co.nz/

Done. Two more exams. And I'm okay for the year. Gotta admit, this isn't my 100% and it's quite disappointing. But I've been told I expect too much from myself. But that's not wrong right?

I've been thinking too much. That act of kindness. That touch of freedom. That smile of sadness. I'm not as confused as I was before but that still doesn't answer any questions.

Unfeeling. These feelings are alien to me. I've been told that I'm hiding a Joevy inside me without realizing it. But how do you know? I know me, I know I do.

I'm happy I made someone's day brighter. I really like it when everyone around me are just being themselves. No constraints. I hate it when everyone's trying to be just a little better than the other. Oh wait, welcome to the world. Welcome to reality. Hello.

Boston - Augustana.

Something's nagging me though, I'm going home after a year (or less) and I'm looking forward to it sooo much. What if I can't after this? What if I'm too attached and don't want to leave? I miss the sanctuary of home where nothing worried me. Nothing.

I realize I get of in a tangent a lot. Haha. It keeps the conversation going but sometimes I just end up halfway across the globe. The globe. Let's go travelling. (:

Love, will cliche words chase you away?
Well, I miss you anyway.

Reenactments.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

2011-11-09T17:52:00.000+08:00

What mirror?

I've been so caught up with everything I haven't had a chance to really look at myself. Those eyebags are a good indication of the sleep debt I owe Mr Sandman. And that obvious red spottie spots? Shoo I skipped puberty for a reason.

EXAMS START TOMORROW AND BY THE TIME IT ENDS IT'LL BE GRADUATION AND THEN HOME.
I'm not even excited for graduation. I wish I was.
Home,
sweet home. Can't wait.
But in the mean time, I have a slight worry that I'm not as worried as I perceive I should be. Worrying, really. Is it a good thing that I'm not worried? :/ What are distractions? Name them. One at a time. Are they unique to us all, or merely an excuse we impose on ourselves? Dilemma.

If anyone ever EVER make me watch Crash again I swear I will either breakdown from boredom or rage from over-watching. Damnit it was a nice movie, touching too.

Nostalgia with Regina Spektor's The Call. I really really miss singing. Will you sing with me? Will you play the piano for me while I sing my nightmares away? Please do.

Piano, I have an immense fascination for you. You are something that I may never be able to understand but will keep loving nonetheless. You have a beautiful voice, truly.

Voices. I miss you, not bad, not excruciatingly, but to an extent that I don't know how to measure any more. Where have you been?

I keep thinking about the tomorrow of which I am living today.

Who am I kidding?

Love is patient, love is kind.

2011-10-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

Love is loving.

Congratulations on the newly wedded couple and may you have a wonderful wedding (: It's true that love prevails. Just be patient.

Excitement. And living. I think I've found a little bit of me that I lost and/or kept hidden away in some abandoned alley in the folds of my thoughts. Nice to have it back. Really. I realized I've been cynical throughout this year. I realize I've been realizing a lot this year. I've been living in a hut/hole. But one that has it's own comforts, like how the deep sea lobsters find comfort in crevices. Sanctuary.

Fights.
I have been having a lot of those with myself lately. Yes, no and maybe? What's right what's wrong? What's correct? Stop caring what other people think. You need to let yourself be the centre of your attention sometimes. But this voice is weak. It's getting a little bit stronger now. Having a friend who'd have midnight talks with you is absolutely amazing.

Fifteen.
Point view lights,
Steaming tea at night,
Pearls settling with each lack of swirl,
Speeches that make toes curl,
Lights, moving in the horizon.
Something changed, among the moving clouds.
Something, that was as quiet as loud,
Will things be the same?
Will they be as tame?

Youth is healthy. You can't pick friends, but you can choose who to be closer to. And besides, who made you more elite than the rest? None. We're all human, sinners, still stumbling around knowing we will be forgiven, repenting only after committing them.

Unchanged, but change is good?

Love is what's left when being in love burns away.

2011-09-14T17:36:00.000+08:00

The Choice - Nicholas Sparks

The joys of reading. How could I have forgotten that? At the end of a very time-constrained essay writing exam, it's over. For now. I did so badly I don't even know why. I'm kind of embarrassed to find out what I got. O.o

On the other hand, this leaves me about less than 2 months to prepare fully for the REAL? one. When did I develop a fear for exams? Surprise surprise.

Reality check girl, you can't do everything.
I always thought trying was good. Give everything a chance. Don't say no because you think you can't. Try it. Just try it. But that's not the case. Jack of all trades and master of none. A phrase that should be used as a mentor, a teacher.

The touch, the sense of familiarity.
I know what I want. Right now, I wouldn't mind going to Otago and renting out or even staying in residential colleges. IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN :D albeit it will be way too cold. TOOOOOOO cold.

First year without mooncakes. I miss it. I miss our traditional ways. I'm still very Chinese inside. I never knew how chinese I was until...I had to start being Chinese. To defend our race against racism. Meh. Calling me an Asian? Which part of me says I ain't? Gee, I hate people who say that. Thanks Russell, you planted the seed of stereotyping into more heads than you can ever imagine. I'm not saying you're not funny but case in point, you're poisoning society. Be nice.

I want colours.

I want colours

Cliches are still the fragments of life we value, sometimes.

2011-09-05T11:13:00.000+08:00

Scars. Three. I'll scare my future husband off when he realizes them ugly things when he's about to slip on that ring.

I've changed.

All the strength I've poured into not changing has changed me. I can't be who I was then.

You can't live in Mars if you don't learn to breathe their air. There's only that much oxygen you can bring with you.

I was so scared of changing that I didn't realize I restricted myself from moving on. I kept telling myself that NO THIS IS THE WAY. Cause it worked before last time. But I was blind, stupid, naive. I was reluctant and I paid the price. SOmetimes part of me wonders where I should limit my dreams to. Should I? I have so much I want to do. I want to go to Italy for the Gelatos. Serious. I want to go to America and see exactly how snobby they've always been described as with my own eyes. Or not. I want to be able to look at the world map and know exactly which country is which damnit. Okay that was just my lack of geography skills.

I have the mocks this week. All those past years we've been drilled to study. We complain, but without realizing it, we've gotten so used to it that it seems almost normal to keep drilling ourselves. That's the problem i'm facing now. No resources to study. And I feel so lost. I want those piles of books that I can keep referring to. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something. Sigh. I guess I'll know how well I've been doing only after this mocks.

I'm scared of my own body now. My fingers are swelling up considerably. Only my right hand though. It's red and pinkish and ugly. The fine wrinkles of skin cells we normally associate to dry skin or so have been so stretched out. And worse, it hurts. I can't write properly. Chillblaines, I was told. Apparently it doesn't go away. I feel so unbeautiful.

It was Father's Day yesterday. In New Zealand anyway. And the church service was one of the best I've ever attended. Pastor Campbell was hilarious. "Real men bake" he said. And the whole church erupted in laughter. Couldn't agree more. I was invited to a youth, and I'm actually looking forward to this one.

You know,

sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I did stay back in Malaysia. I miss everyone so unbearably much! I don't know why I didn't feel it coming. It should've hit me harder before I left. Things are much more valuable with the distance separating them from us. I miss being under my Daddy's protection. I miss having people fuss over me. Dear me, I think I was spoiled.

On a lighter note, I think I'm beginning to grasp things here. I feel myself being more grounded. As in, rooted to earth. Not the other sense. And I feel so oldddddd. Everyone around me is younger. I feel once again like an older sister. I would like to be the younger one for once. I want to know what it's like to have someone to look up to. To worship. To run to for help/guidance.

She called me a nail and hair virgin. Hey it's not my fault I'm not interested in these things. Once again, puberty didn't seem to hit me right. I feel like I'm transiting from one realm to another.

Hellogoodbye.

Driving illegally. We should do it again.

The uncried tears that fall so easy.

2011-07-05T19:17:00.000+08:00

For the past 3 weeks I've been floating about.
I walk to school.
Come back from school.
Do my homework.
Go out with friends.
Eat.
Sit by the computer telling myself to do things that I never get around to do.

I feel so sick.
So so so sick.
What's right and what's wrong now?
I'm happy aren't I?
What's happiness now?
Is it the content you feel with what you have achieved or the desire to satisfy your wants?
I don't know anymore.

I feel disgusted that lately, I've been binging. The act of blaming it on depression, homesickness, stress, and etc seems to be a good way to allow my eating habits to go out of hand. I've been eating practically 24/7 nowadays and I'm getting worried. Not worried that I'm gaining weight, but the fact that I've become dependent on something now. Like an addict to cocaine.

I don't feel like myself anymore. I can't remember how I used to be anymore sometimes. part of me is holding on to my old personality while another is saying that I should move on. I feel robotic.

I keep telling myself it's just a phase I'm going through. I'll get over it. But when will I stop doubting?

I need my happy rainbow back. I've painted that in my old life and I want it now. I want it here too. I've lost the ability to share happiness. Lately, I've been asked "Are you okay Joevy? You look as if something's bothering you." I got so caught off guard hearing that.

YOU SEE, THAT'S NOT ME.

Will you send me some sunshine?

Busy bee-sy

2011-02-22T03:40:00.000+08:00

What is it that makes me miss home so much?
Sometimes, sometimes.
ThankGodformyearthlyfriends.

I like and dislike.
I'm doing and undoing.
I'm well and unwell.
And I absolutely hate the school's keyboard.

School here is so so different.Gone were our kiasu days, here is all the laidback do-it-like-you-like-it way. I'm not complaining but sometimes I feel like there's nothing to push me to do something.
Slacking.

I miss how we used to have midnight talks.
I miss how you always told me about that girl, or the other one, or the recent one :)
I miss how we'd gossip, trying to be nice, but gossip, nonetheless.
I miss how you're such an altruist.
If you're reading this, I still have one more promise to fulfill.

I HAVE AN INTERNAL ASSESSMENT IN A WEEK?
Who has their exams so early in the year? O.o
And sports day this Thursday..
Sports..
A Victorian forever baby!
But I'm in Yellow now.

And now everyone's going to class and I have a free period.
Joevy you loner.

I sound homesick

Just in a blink of an eye

2011-01-29T15:47:00.000+08:00

20 days now.
And to think I was counting the days till when I'd be leaving.
Now, It's counting when I'll be back.
And I will be.

All those times we had are always replaying like a reel of film that won't stop.
Anytime, anywhere.
I was at your blog today, and I was wondering, was I right to not give an extra one or two advice?
Maybe, just maybe, at least you'd be more secure now? Or just at least, happy and not just for the moment.
Stay strong will you?

I feel like I've been detached somehow.
Sometimes when I not know, I feel...just like I'm floating above a thick fog. Trying, trying to see the crowd below, but only hearing the laughter and some distant cries.
Silently, silently.

I guess I'm not feeling too homesick now, living with my aunt and all.
But sometimes, you just get the feeling of not knowing whether you can walk like you did at home, sing like you did at home. Sometimes, you don't want to be the cause of a bump in another's path. Or is it?

I think of the future so much and sometimes it makes me pause and think again, what if it didn't turn up like that. Then what? Will I be able to pull it together?

And yes, we all eventually unlink in our own ways, but stay close. At least try ?

It seems like a long walk,

with you,

holding the map of shortcuts

Over and under, inside and out, have we really ended what we started?

2010-12-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

Thirty days, and counting

Here I am, so eager to return here this morning but now I'm wordless/speechless.
There's just so much to say that they're all piling up into a mutter of nonsensical crap.

Forgiving and forgetting, so true.
Sometimes I'm happy that I'm blessed with short term memory
You.
I'm glad we're not biting at each other's neck anymore.
I hope this lasts :)

I MISS YOU KRISTAGAIL LIM ERN-HUI
Okay.
That said, you better send more postcards to Musicland after this.
Imma looking forward to receiving them.

OH THE HIGHLIGHT OF TODAY

now how could i have forgotten.

TODAY MARKS THE END OF SPM

*exclamation mark*

after months, nay years of preparing for a written exam.

I don't know whether I'll be missing those books but damn I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss school.

Well, most of school anyway.

Thankyou to all my oh so kind/ oh so hardcore/ oh so monotonous/ oh so naggy/ oh so strict/ oh so motherly/ oh so loud/ oh so patient teachers.
The sacrifices you've made will not go to waste.
Sometimes, if not always, we complain about each teacher and how they're lacking but some of them probably already changed our lives for good without us realizing it.
I believe that.

Plans and days,
so much to do and so little time.
Pray, tell me where do I start?

Baby, it's now or never

This is for the person you know you are.

2010-10-30T17:08:00.000+08:00

I dedicate this to you.

I remember when we used to tell each other silly things

I remember when we barely gossiped as much

I remember how we exchanged almost everything

I remember when we tried matching stuffs

I remember how we'd share silly stories

I remember when you told me I was wrong

I remember when we said we'd never fall apart

I remember when we wrote each other notes

I remember when we'd talk about going into the upper secondary and feeling scared

I remember when we felt on top of the world

I remember,

not all,

but as much as I could.

But today,

I feel like I found you all over again, and I don't want to just remember,

but be living in those memories as we speak,

we can always try.

I know I will.

Untouchable

It's a roller coaster ride

2010-10-23T08:50:00.000+08:00

Our conflicts and common ground sky-rocketed and crashed down.

imaginary rides.

fun.

i wonder if anyone else would go crazy with us.

i only wish we had a picture to go with.

Frozen memories are what i like best.

It's belated,

but,

HAPPY 17th FIONANAA!

I have a sudden urge to watch Salt again.

RUSSIAN SPIES are hot.

and those blue eyes...

"If any of you are planning to complain to school, please inform me first so I can come up with a good excuse"

Our English teacher asked us all to bring any movies we liked and we'd watch one.

DE-STRESS, she says :)

*secretly wishes for Letters To Juliet*

Twenty-nine and counting.

It's not that far you know.

I know.

Too much to handle

Get back, just get back.

2010-10-10T21:03:00.001+08:00

I don't want to forget,
but you never fail to remind.

another month and give or take a few days.
i wonder what happens then.

Going to Mcd's in the driver seat.
Scratch-free!
and then round the whole of Ipoh, with an exception of Sunway.
and it's only the second time i'm driving the CR-V.

"Dad, I have to put the P sticker."
" BUT WHY? Don't need lah"

sometimes my dad surprises me.

***
ohmgee she's such a turnoff
pray let her disappear.
***

I had another flashback just now,
wish we could've danced a little longer, and sang a little louder and stayed a little later.

and today is the wonderful Triple Tens.
:)

101010<3

Toast, to not caring

The randomness that brings my mind away just for a moment.

2010-10-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

"Cheesy wedges without cheese!"
"Chicken rice without chicken!"
"Prawn noodles without prawn!"
"Dai Lok Min, em moi gam dai!"

laughters and stupidity.
relying on those silly moments sometimes to release stress.
I Love You Peeps <3

somehow it's like waving goodbye on a yacht and saying adieu.

2010-10-02T13:45:00.000+08:00

farewells.

Graduation,

when i was younger i used to wonder what it felt like for the older ones to leave and go on with life and visit the world out there.

i'm another step nearer now.

Frankly, it doesn't scare me, but i know i'm going to miss so many things.

but it's true you know,

that if you don't let go you can't move forward.

last night was a breeze

Fun?

oh yeah.

"then it's true."

"what's true?"

"that you find out who your real friends really are only in form five"

i didn't get to tell you how much that's true.

you know now :)

for the best :)

when you tell me you miss me, i forgive everything under the sky

2010-09-19T09:56:00.000+08:00

how true is up to you.

i was
..
the wrong person
at the wrong time
at the wrong place
GOMEN

NINE WEEEKS
it'll be all over soon
the harder ones are coming up.

i realized i like making people laugh,
even if that means embarrassing me.
odd & strange
but hearing the laughter in turn makes me smile
a good sacrifice maybe.

GOOD SHOWS vs BAD SHOWS
i have them all,
so many many shows to watch and they're all at my hand's reach.
NOT GOOD : |

you know what i want

it was just a shooting star aimed at the wrong person, forgive me.

2010-09-12T15:49:00.000+08:00

i only wanted to try.

I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD IN AGES
guess you really have to give everything a chance.
chivalry is never quite dead, isn't it?

everyone's starting to say goodbye to me already.
IT'S STILL EARLY,
quite.
why does it seem like i want to stay yet leave at the same time?
i ask myself why and every time the answer is so close to nothing.

i saw them together.
it was odd, and strange but it gave me a clearer picture now.

sing sing sing,
i want to hear that voice.
lets at least have a few more pictures or snapshots together.
keeping memories; a good hobby.
come with me :]

you're so good at vanishing sometimes.
but i'm tired of playing hide-and seek,
come out come out,
sit beside me when i'm studying.
yes you, Mr Discipline.

please heal my darling bruise,
i wanna wear my shorts.
the weather is TOO hot for 'nything else.

ears and eyes

stars and shine

one two tickle you under there.

2010-09-08T14:57:00.000+08:00

rain rain rain, then clouds

is anyone else getting hyped about Gradnite?
something's amiss.
i feel...nothing.

i think i might be getting a little too addicted to everything around me
Facebook
Love
Food
Songs
You

GOSHHHHH
i may have liked him one wee bit
but when i saw the association with her.
haha.
sorry everything just went *poof*

^^

I FEEL ALIIIVVVEEEEEEEEEE

hunting for that blog

twice on a rainy day

2010-08-31T17:57:00.000+08:00

you'll never know that side of me

i'm no good with the computer

it gives me a headache

my first drive on the road today,

on National's day.

what a good way to remember today.

noididnothitanyonewhilstdrivingthankGod

it just isn't my fault when the clutch and brake and accelerator eludes my foot.

seriously.

and my car died in the middle of the road.

HEY IT HAPPENS, right?

because i've been here for

*counts fingers and toes*

11 years i think it should be fair for me to 'melaungkan'

MERDEKA!

i have a list of things i neeed to get

-a good, functional (lies), sleek handsome (truth) pink or non pink lappie top

-those ohmgee to die for heels

-bags, duh.

SEE that's not much

-a queensized bed?

-a quilt

-A RETURN TICKET in case i freak out and get homesick

that wasn't too bad

-my friends and family (not in DiGi language)

Loves,

changing with gravity

it's a love hate thing. stop denying it.

2010-08-29T14:39:00.000+08:00

living with and without you.
neither one works.

it feels strangely new all of a sudden
everything falling back into place
skeletons in the closet revealed
and we know just how to not handle it.
deja vu,
but,
good mojo

did you miss me?
i know i did.
missing you, that is.

maybe it's because we're more mature now
and night is nothing scarier than day.

when we sat down on those red chairs on Thursday,
i couldn't help thinking,
i'm going to miss all of you like crazy.
leaving is not the thing that scares me but what's going to happen after that does,
we change,
unavoidable God's will.

i miss those times where we could talk without boundaries
no lines drawn and no taboo topics.
it's been long and permanent.

i miss those times we shared everything,
from pictures to clothes to little trinkets on the loose.

i miss those times when the phone rings at midnight,
and you tell your very unhappy mother that it is an important call,
when indeed on the other line she's got a new crush and has to gush.

but i'm happy i had those moments before :)

i really like you lashes

it's different in my eyes and yours and theirs, but we all know it's true

2010-07-18T19:52:00.000+08:00

what could possibly go wrong?

THIS

i'm happy

because i don't care anymore

i think we've all reached that point

very much loves

2010-07-03T00:15:00.002+08:00

TOOTHACHE D:
ouch.

so did you feel that spark when the lightning flashed?

2010-06-27T20:19:00.000+08:00

i have to drop the malaysian slang already

oh dearness

i've been having breathing problems at night,

CULPRIT: too much food.

no kidding there.

what a shocker.

i really thought it wasn't but i tried to eat three meals instead of five today,

it was horrible.

mom says i have to stop me chocolate consumption.

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING

i have a big hatred for tone death people.

you bullies me peeps

GO AWAY

so yesterday

it's warm over there and i don't know what to feel.

2010-06-19T11:17:00.001+08:00

|i friggin hate you, i do, i do.|

apple toffee
toffee apple
MINE GOT BURNT
but it tastes oolala

i've been using that cookbook often so no worries,
it ain't going to waste.

I PASSED MY UNDANG
i don't know if i should be proud or what.
some lady there only had like ONE wrong.
wth did she like memorize ze book?

you are leaving
she is leaving
he is leaving
i am leaving
why are we all leaving?
will we all come back to this point where it was always just laughs and punches down the back?
or some slapstick humor and sexist jokes?
i guess we'll see

**gosh i miss my old fringe.

it's a matrix, love

if i start, i won't stop.

2010-06-12T12:09:00.000+08:00

how long has it been?
long enough :)

exams sap the time outta my days
and FINALLY
i can get my hands on the com properly
the technician my mom hired is...SLOW
and i dislike this new keyboard.
the size of the shift keys are to small.

well first off

TO GLENN

a toast?

for your month early birthday and also soon,

for your farewell.

AND CHEER UPPPPPPPPP

:D :P :)

the future is

...

a good wide horizon for you to explore

*nods*

and recently,
a change in habit
i hope no one realizes

i want too much
and i get what i want
and i feel bad that i didn't get it myself
and it makes me tell myself i have to stop wanting it
i propose a ban for this word for today.
there's a first for everything.

GORGEOUS

so that i can whisper in your ear and say

baby you are to stay

sweet scenes that fill my dreams are those of your memories

2010-05-22T17:55:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel like i'm outside my own body,
watching my every move
and thinking what's wrong

i'm sorry i haven't been replying
and AWOL
and i know you think i've forgotten about it
but i haven't.
so much has been happening
i don't know where to start anymore.

patience okay?

if i call at 3 in the morning,
it's still you

sometimes i feel so loved,
those eyes of yours,
makes me lost and i savor it,
now onwards and on,
because you see,
i just encountered something today.
and it got me thinking that.
one day i might lose those dear to me

sometimes,
i wonder why some people are just
SO
DAMN
NICE
to me?
i can't see whether its sincere anymore.

YOU,

are so freaking annoying.

and you just won't stop it.

two-face wannabe.

i'm sorry you can't be helped

maybe it's not to late for you to change

why do we go around in circles when we already know what we want?

2010-05-01T12:23:00.000+08:00

JUST ANOTHER 8 MONTHS

maybe six :/

if you're reading this, fly with me okay?

INTERIOR DESIGN

suddenly

JUST SUDDENLY

this appeals to me more

not that i don't want to find a cure for cancer anymore but this is probably a short phase in my life that i will look back upon once somewhere in the far future and say HEY that was a good one too.

duplex,layers,colour combinations,space engineering,illusions...

[terms i came up myself, i haven't exactly looked it up yet]

MY DREAMHOUSE

will have:-

glass stairs

JUST IMAGINE ASDFGHLKL 0_____o

A BUILT IN PLASMA

where i can click using a remote and the wall opens and voila my plasma in glass oh my gosh wth am i crapping?

A FIBRE GLASS DVD PLAYER

*poke beeeeeeeeep smiles*

not too much glass doors, i have a tendency to walk straight into them and yes i have not acquired the ability to walk through them despite my many years of trying.

a BIG BIG garden,

with a swing and a tree with a treehouse : D

so at night i can lie on the grass and watch the stars

although by then the years of pollution would probably have limited my view

a beautiful open air bathroom

zomg i'll spend two hours bathing.

somebody please invent anti-wrinkling body shampoo.

A BIG BIG BIG REFRIGERATOR

with a special compartment for CHOCOLATES and another foe ICE CREAM

marble floors

cause gee the weather is too hot to have wooden ones

A WALK-IN CLOSET

with a gynormous *think ballet studio* mirror

open air attic?

night watch and slow dances under the moonlit sky with loads of candles around

*or you know, when electricity fails us*

OKAY JOEVY STOP DREAMING.

teddybears and chocolates make me dreamy.

stopppppppp.....

i've stopped looking anymore

walking under the moonlit sky with Starbucks in hand is warm and cold at the same time, like always.

2010-04-25T13:17:00.000+08:00

yesterday
today
tomorrow
nothing will change
or everything would
mind over matter
but let matter make your day

yesterday,
i swore.
i'm so shocked at myself when i got back

sorry Kristal, that you had to hear it.

i'm not even gonna try to understand this.

*

I'M PROUD OF MY CHOIR GIRLS
you guys were great :)
just not loud enough, says some
but everything else was TOP NOTCH and FUN
*happy smiles*
THANK YOU BABES

:) :) :)

Auntie Katherine and Uncle Daniel gave me a shock though.
HAHA

*

finally some realizes my MAD look.
CHRISTINA!!
you surprised me.
NATASHA!!
was it that obvious?

SHE LIKES YOU IT'S SO OBVIOUS I THINK I'M AT LOST FOR WORDS

missing you was part of the plan,

always has been

i think i'm falling for the second time, i think.

2010-04-19T09:32:00.000+08:00

FINALLY IT UPLOADS!

it's been great,

great.

Anna

Bianca

Ezriann

Fiona

Kristal

Mabelyn

Nyit Yi

Sandra

Yi Huah

Bryan

Jian Shyang

Jovin

Sean

THANKU

for being in PiNK

again and again

don't you get bored?

even i am

you are such a hypocrite.

telling me lies about yourself.

over and over

you think i wouldn't know,

i'm too naive?

haha

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME

i realized,

all the people i love are bitches

O_o

not entirely a bad thing i guess

you make my dreams come true

yes you

i dreamed a dream, your hands around my waist and cheek against my neck.

2010-04-03T21:22:00.000+08:00

THIS IS OUR LAST
OUR LAST YEAR
OUR LAST CAMP,
OUR LAST EXAM, for now,
OUR LAST.

why does everything seem so final?
when he made us reflect during the camp,
i had one million and one flashbacks.
this and that.
who and why.
when and how.

i just want to say
this year's LEADERSHIP TRAINING CAMP in Camerons was fab.
INTI facilitators really know how to do their job and keep humor max.

if my memory did not fail me,they were :

ARTHUR
CAROL
CALVIN
DENISE
LEON
TIKUS MASTER LEONG
LEANNE
KEH PAU

forgive the spelling mistakes.

we sang,
we screamed,
we cried,
we talked,
we jumped,
we fell,
we carried each other,
we supported each other,
we had fun,
we were in it together.

i guess one CAN be happy and sad at the same time
right now,
i'm the perfect example.

many many pictures will be up in facebook,
but for now,
it's just me and my words.

hey you,

cheer up.

hey,

cheer me up.

you wear those shoes and i will wear the dress

2010-03-28T17:06:00.000+08:00

this road is so bent,

it's so far off the main path,

but it seems like an easier way,

less pebbly and not so dry,

i even see butterflies guiding me,

and there's shade under those leaves,

and i was so fascinated,

so captivated,

by the beauty and the ease of it all,

i was drawn to you.

so i stepped off the main path and set foot on new ground,

my other foot about to the same,

but oh,

my memories stopped me,

i know what i want,

i didn't always know,

but somehow,

You called to me,

and when You reappeared,

all hope i knew then was false,

it was just a temporary solace,

maybe i will listen to that whisper in my head more often now,

good night,

good bye,

sweet.

p.s : I LOVE MY GRANPA :]

is it just me?

if it rhymes, it's not right.

2010-03-18T16:22:00.000+08:00

two's company, three's a crowd
three's happy, four's loud

Tigers.
Zebras.
Leopards/ Giraffes.
Panthers.
and maybe
Kingfisher.

aren't they all so colorful?
:)

RHYTHM OF THE POURING RAIN
i think i like both the chinese and original version now.

Alice in ~~HER~~ wonderland ain't as good as i thought it is.
Just...moderately amusing.
maybe it'll be better in 3D.
definitely.

i will sue her

2010-03-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

I wish you'll just stop doing shallow things,

guess it's just the way you are.

shallow.

glorious is the day we unite and stand, glorious is the way you try to hide that smile

2010-03-07T11:57:00.000+08:00

RAWR RAWR VICTORIA-A!

WE'RE NUMBER WA-A-ONE!

RAWR RAWR VICTORIA-A!

WE'RE NOT GONNA HOLD BACK!

(i want your ugly i want your disease...........)

V-I-C-T-O-R-I-A

WE THE GREEN,

WE THE GOLD,

WE WILL RUMBLE,

GO!

we won we won we won!

~~finally~~

Victoria finally broke the MGS sports winner spell

: D

just delightful,

and it is my last year too

oh the satisfaction.

Many thanks to the following:

my fellow Victoria marchers

my fellow Victorians

(for the costume)

Jaspreet

Santhirakala

Shajetha and Shamema

Pharathiny

Kai Qi

teachers C:

Ee Mun

Eunice

Kristal

Fiona

Ezriann!

Pei Qi

SAY NO SAY NO!

too many things

HEADACHE argh

this is going to stop.

i miss that

time to open that book that's been collecting dust

OH BIO -__o

my home in the future will be safety guarded

ESPECIALLY the wooden doors so there will be NO accidents involving toes under them

and loads of blood

loads and loads of them gushing things

owwwwwwww my poor little toe

T_______T

please don't ask

lets leave it at that

a different view of sight, a different taste of texture, a different sense of sensibility.

2010-02-28T18:04:00.001+08:00

the ZENness

i feel happy

and obviously since the contradictions come in right here

i feel sad

RED AND GOLD

ROYAL PURPLE AND SILVER

hurry up help me choose!

the lymph nodes in my neck are STILL swollen up

it's been two weeks

the doctor's words, precisely

"it's just some internal infection"

NO DUH

-__-

medication won't work

gramma's herbal leong cha tea won't work

and when I told my mom it might be cancer, she looked me in the eye and said

"all things are fated, so don't worry. if it is then just let it be"

mom, I'm in awe.

DRAT

it's that womanly time of the month

no wonder I've been snacking too much

Sport's Day IS this saturday,

exams a few days after,

and holidays again,

after that.

BELATED PICTURES

(that i amazingly saved from my out of battery memory card-less camera)

Benjamin and Jovin looking dead beat

DAPHNE

i have no idea what's your surname

NOKIA SAMSUNG SONY

the many many colorful wallets my aunt bought back

FROZEN FRUIT

they literally break your teeth

: D

and because i wasted time on this

THE TOOTHFAIRY IS SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT!!

*bigg biggggg frowns*

i was so looking forward to a touching or maybe deeper story line but i guess that hardly exists anymore.

now i'm gonna watch The Princess And The Frog.

oh i like colours,

don't you?

maybe i have to open both ears

2010-02-19T12:49:00.001+08:00

my dad

threw away all my shoes

and my slippers died

this is Not Cool

beacause i'm not allowed to buy shoes during new year

Not Cool at all

the show Hancock is damn scary man

sticking heads of people up people's ass

*belch*

but i didn't get to finish it :[

i've said it before and i'll say it again

I WANNA PLAY MAHJONG

she was only trying to help

thanks for sharing

thanks for telling

just too good to be true, can't take my eyes of you

2010-02-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

The last year

The last new year

The last Chinese new year

I think i'm going to cry, I really don't want to miss all this, or that, or anything for that matter

absence makes the heart grow fonder

but i don't like that line.

I guess it really is a loooong goodbye when you think about it.

you've been saying goodbye ever since you first meet one person, it's just a matter of time.

THIS YEAR

my new year has been anything but bad

i get more advices than usual

i get surprising messages and also

random-but-should've-guessed happenings

i guess it's not all just about wants and needs and fulfillments,

i'm gonna fly away soon

and i'm not even done with my Piawai exams.

maybe a year seems long but i am a witness to the speed of time

how you can't take back the things you've said and done once it is swallowed by the abyss of time, forever etched in memory, history, life.

i curse you who disrupt my train of thought.

GOODNIGHT-_-

MY LATEST FOOD CRAVINGS

something i found in the shop called

'the cocoa tree/shop'...give or take a few words.

My siblings, Joelene and Joshua.

to you and you and you dear,

Happy Chinese New Year C:

flying to the tip of the highest peak, the jump down will be exhilarating

2010-01-30T08:19:00.000+08:00

what'd ya know,

January ends.

ALREADY?

yeah i guess so.

we use to be one big happy family,

i bet you don't remember.

we're slipping into adulthood,

it sounds like such a big word,

not big,

rather,

complicated.

10 boxes for the subjects-to-be-taken for SPM

but now they tell us we can have 12.

"Mom I ticked the subjects for SPM today"

"Oh is it?where?"

"I handed it in"

"...you're growing up"

This made me think of Peter Pan,

and more so Peter Pan in Scarlet.

THEY"RE FICTION.

but i wish part of it was true.

i would love to fly

the * key on my phone won't work,

i can't have misfits there.

it's so incomplete..

FOOD AND FUN FAIR

our last one in MGS

it's gonna be the Fair of the century

come.

yeah,

i'm naive,

i can't help doing all the wrong things.

START

-standing up

-laying the foot down

-whispering

-tell the truth

yes, tell the things I've been hiding

make me light-hearted again

the depth in your eyes and the the tune from your lips are caresses from deep down amd way out.

2010-01-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

PROCRASTINATION
but having too much free time
i'm confused
i'm confused

i'm not good enough anyway C:

i will finish what i've started
and i will not be the drastic change in personality this year
but it's always been their ways

enduring pains i created
stupid girl you are

i had loads to say
now i've forgotten
tsk
and i'm hungry
and tired
but i can't sleep

GORY SIGHT
dissecting frogs it is
we gave the baby frog a liposuction
and i found out today that our lungs look like foam/bubbles
how odd
some of my classmates bought giants of a frog
scary..
thankyou froggie
(i'm thinking of thr frogs in Meet The Robinsons now)
for being our experiment

the purest of face

you had you had

tasting those droplets falling from the leaves.

2010-01-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

iPod
iSing
iGasm

so what next?
i need to learn the home row to typing.
failing
:(

as of an hour ago,
I do not have a phone.
well, my phone that is
whee~

APOLOGIES
for those unreplied texts and calls

i haven't been that free,
unlike you,
have a bit of understanding

GOOD NEWS GOOD?
those two people i dislike most are sticking together
like birds of a feather
stay that way then,
i really don't want anything to do with you

AND FOR THOSE WHO ARE TRYING TO BOSS ME AROUND
stop already,
i don't wanna lose my temper
i've never tried
i really, really
don't want to try

snuggling up with hot chocolate and mini marshmallows,

they taste better with company

To smile or to laugh, it's hard to make my mind up when you're eyes turn semi crescent.

2010-01-10T17:08:00.000+08:00

DADDY DADDY
you're old you're old!
but i'm growing old with you

I can check the first resolution i made.
now THAT's a first
this doesn't happen often
and speaking of often
i still can't figure out how you pronounce it right
ofTen
or
of'en

I made a peach cheesecake with my mom
It's in the fridge setting now.

SURPRISES
i have a new set of teachers
and many old ones
we had Korean people come perform
and majority lost their heads screaming
and i didn't
C:
accomplishment!

The Spy Next Door sounds fun
i've always loved Jackie Chan's movie
I've always loved kids
and when you put them together
you get The Baby Project
or something like that
i can't remember the name of that movie that had a cute months old baby + JC
and now there's another one.
Just fabulous

I HAVE TO FINISH MY MORAL
oh crappiness...
and that mail to Push
ohmymy.
this one is tricky.
WHEN IS THIS DUE ANYWAY?

i'm gonna flunk this if i don't keep track
don't let me

i've been told i ask 'why?' too much
i've been told i want to know too much
but i can't stop, i tried
it's just me.
i don't want to be sorry about that too

it's just one more year,

why am i having nightmares?

dancing on fireflies, light reflecting from morning dew, when you finally see.

2010-01-03T21:25:00.000+08:00

It's not something we like

but it has to start somewhere,

so here it is

DON'T

don't say things you don't mean,

and

HEY

distance tells a lot,

don't leave.

I have trust issues

I can't get over them.

help?

BELIEVE

it's not that easy when you get your own thoughts trampled over.

LEARN

and begin your journey of life.

i'll be back.

wait, don't wait?

presents that come in full, are always surprises nor will they often be real

2010-01-02T12:59:00.000+08:00

IT'S NEW.
comas leave one hanging,
fullstops give finality.

"she has an awesome tush"
"really?look at his"

I realized i still haven't finished Form 4 Physics : Light.
oh dear

LIME FROSTED WAFERS

AVATAR YESTERDAY WAS AWESOMENESS
THE SONG
See You - Leona Lewis
it's the theme song.
THE MOVIE
it's touching, really really touching.
I VOTE : THE MOVIE OF THE YEAR 2009

"why did you cry?"
"i thought he was gonna die"
"good guys never die"
"that's not true"

NEW YEAR
dinner at the new Overseas was overpriced
but i loved the vegetable in some soup with mushrooms
i know.
it's weird.
but you should try it, really C:

JUMPING FOUR LEGGED AMPHIBIANS

I need to start saving
I'm outta $$
dear me.

sing,

sing it straight from my heart.

changes i do not like, but changes are what they are.

2010-01-01T11:14:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING 2010

i'm missing the year yesterday was.

too bad i missed Daren's party,

but it sounded like a bit of a mess in the end

oh dear~

"i called your phone but a guy picked up"

"you're hallucinating"

"i didn't recognize the voice"

my apologies for whatever i should have apologized for,

my regrets for all that i left.

my love,

for all that i did.

don't speak to the hand,

speak up,

and look at me when you speak.

something happened on the First minute of my 2010

it's gonna be forever etched in my heart.

BuT i STill Do lOVe Ya.

+i have new resolutions+

STOP BM TUITION

or find a better one.

STUDY BIO

which is certainly my fav but weakest science subjects.

SLEEP BY ELEVEN

or anything but the day I have to wake up.

DON'T SCREAM

so much.

CHERISH

it's gonna be my last.

DON'T CRY

just don't.

BE NICE

but not to everyone, seriously.

FORGET

everything that hurts.

PROMISE

and fulfill them

i have to stop here.

when i achieve all then i'll add more

hearing the wind breathe your news,

that's enough

with a little bit of faith, we can fly the moon

2009-12-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS LOG

BAKED STARS

close-up

GINGERBREADMEN!

Deco

Pavillion

and that sums up

20% of

MY HOLIDAYS

I will elaborate further

BUT

just wait.

busy missing someone

busy missing, you

i lied when i said that my love was forever, i apologize, forever is just not enough

2009-12-25T12:06:00.001+08:00

THANK YOU ALL FOR THOSE LOVELY PRESENTS
really
and i hoped you like LOVE mine as well
hey i spent every penny i had okkkk
anyway
some of you haven't received yours yet so fret not
:)

Food Bonanza last night was just pure awesomeness
Turkey, lip smacking brownies, shepherds pie, some other pie, pasta, and etcetera etcetera
AND JELLYBEANS :D
MABEL, YOU'RE AN AWESOME HOST!

out of the presents, one i find most amusing is a pair of dice my mom got
they are for alcohol games.
i took all but 2 seconds to figure this out

**on the dice**
DOUBLE SHOT
1/2
1/4
3/4
PASS
and i think the last one was ONE GLASS
(dices are in a pile somewhere and i'm not about to waste time hunting for them now)

and the other one says
ME
LEFT
RIGHT
RANDOM
LEFT X2
RIGHT X2

[edit]

back from another round in JJ and Parkson
-.-

my lovely brother got me this for Christmas!

how thoughtful...

Christmas is Christmas all over the world

People are People all over the world...

that's a random tune stuck in my head

anyway, will anyone verify whether MU is really coming to Ipoh this Sunday?

I HAVE LOST MY SHOPPING STREAK THIS HOLIDAYS

this is not very good

i keep picking up things

then

putting them back

OMO

it should be a good thing for my parents though

JOHN CANDICE

get em

flaunt em

GOSHILOVETHEIRITEMS!

your worth every step i take on glass

even if it breaks

a little mistletoe, and fate falls, right into place love

2009-12-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas Darlings.

I love you, and you know it.
:)

don't do it

yet

sand trickling throgh my toes, and jagged rocks hurt not when you step on them for me.

2009-12-23T21:12:00.000+08:00

JJ's Member's Sales Day..
is scary.
you can get shirts at a WOW price.
say RM 5.70
BUT the people there are swarming hardworking bees
and female ones they are too.

didn't manage to get what i wanted
spent it all on christmas presents

TWAS THE SEASON FOR GIVING,
RECEIVING NEY
but all the same welcomed C:

i'm done with my christmas shopping
and i'm VERY happy
everyone on my list has been checked
*tick tick tick beams*
i can't stop smiling

POOL OVER SNOOKER
snooker wins me heart
but i won 2 rounds of pool
solid is my lucky choice

thank you Chui for being such a dear
muahhhhhhhh

MY DADDY'S HOME!!
and he got me a new golf glove in white
YAYzers
<3's YOUUUUUU...

when i hold my breath long enough underwater,

i fall into a deep dream,

one where your existence completes the universe

swim my baby, swim into the sunset

2009-12-22T00:40:00.001+08:00

KL KL
KL's been happening
and KL is the most crowded place in M'sia
Cotton On should open in Ipoh
oh prettie prettie please?

i like shopping in Penang
i like shopping in Penang
i like shopping in KL ONLY when it's not the public holidays
boo you, crowded crowd

my daddy's outstation
it's Christmas soon
Santa, come back from my childhood.
i miss you
i miss your big round belly that was so comfortable in my dreams

i've finished FOUR chinese dramas this hols
-You're Hired
-D.I.E Again
-The Stew of Life
and currently
-In The Realm Of Conscience

'you're not a potato couch, you've grown on it'
oh dear

i forgot to eat an orange today
i like my oranges peeled
even the fibrous translucent fibre
:)
bring me one
or just remind me darling

anna's place is a very nice place to chill
adieu

will you bring me a teddy?

a nice brown furry one

sometimes, it's just as quiet, but this time, i can hear your smiles

2009-12-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

when i trip,

i fall hard.

i need inspiration and i'm getting it bit by bit

sandra's at camp and half pissed half...happy?

i'm gonna find a way to retrieve all those edited photos my cuzzie did

her new Samsung is so awesome.

RSVP

stands for Reply Sid Vu Ple

and i saw it on the back of Victoria's Secret lingerie.

it made me pause and think

what exactly should the reply be.

yes it's been getting slowly more obvious that it's boring to be stuck at home and i've resorted to eating and munching as my new hobby

made Kimchi fried rice ALL BY MESELF today

ah the....spiciness -.-

i even made baked meringue

though it was too sweet.

i couldn't stand it

blahhhh

i didn't know icing sugar was sweeter than normal ones

oh well, now i do

KL HERE I COME.

and i've saved just enough to last me through,

i hope

just don't let too many things catch my eye

GRACI :)

i'm not a very good tutor, i apologize but you'll have to make do : |

playing chords are as good as listening to them

maybe i'm beginning to miss 'em

so far yet even further, let us dream

2009-12-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

streamyx has taken too long

will you wait?

twirling round, raindrops on your lips

2009-12-07T16:28:00.000+08:00

Jamaican Cookies

finally

that was a breeze
i'll try baked meringue next time
oh oh
anyone tried Baked Alaska?
*smacks lips*

it's called old fashion,

not something everyone can do

most certainly,

not you

someone i can take a walk with at the park, and share the sunshine

2009-12-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

"what's that smell?"
"oh shit"
burnt blanched almonds looks like cockroaches
i blame phone calls

ladida.
ladida.
let's go.
when the time comes you will know.

my.trip.got.cancelled
my trip = shopping = happy joevy
no trip = no shopping = sad joevy

OF COURSE ! it's not just about shopping
duh right
but why can't the bus i want have extra seats?
geeee~
now i have no more excuses.

I WANT THE YARI
does no one else feel its beauty?
damn
and its pink too
how convenient.

just whisper

don't scream

just sway

don't push

just stay

don't move

drumrolls :O

2009-12-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BEN

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BENJAMIN!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

a trip to the seaside.or so to say..

2009-12-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

this is the Snake Temple or something

the snakes there don't even move

so calm

so serene

so eerie

MY DEAREST BABY COUSIN

coffee?

my hat and his charm

perfect : D

when you can't get a baby bath,

improvise

somehow my legs look surprisingly long here

part of the contents in the bag

my mom and her sisters

in La Manila Place

this is a sorta seafood

called lo in Chinese or something

BUT

it had a hermit in it

it was a ten minute distraction from our dinner

all thanks to the children around

>.<

oh that dress

and that..

OH AND THAT IS JUST TO DIE FOR!

cinemas in penang is SOOO SOOOO MUCHHH better than ipoh

that's not even with KL and Singapore in the picture

so that sums up my penang trip

left out a lot but i'm not that free

this hols has been fruitful baby

and it's just starting

behind clenched teeth, resisting the pleasure

2009-12-02T00:15:00.001+08:00

one wish : don't.turn.up

i'm so happy
1st December
i'm so so happy
hello smiley faces
i like golf clubs
they can give you 9 less teeth and 16 stitches
amazing : D
you are such a bubble popper though

you bring back memories
goodnight insomnia, won't be needing you tonight

it's like tripping over stones knowing you'll be catched

2009-11-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

If all didn't end just as well
Maybe I'll fly, fly just high enough

we've been singing
we've been happy
evil thoughts aside
don't fight with me
cause you're only going to lose
and you know it

I'm one butter and 3 eggs less and a kilogramme coconut shred too many
just you wait Jamaican cookies, I'll bring you to life
supper at eleven, dinner at one, oh and naps at three
this is easy C:
and if i haven't been replying, yes the phone's a corpse
damn why won't it just shrivel up and disappear?

everything has been spring-cleaned
EVERYTHING
there won't be any more scattered things/thoughts lying around
this is so refreshing
despite throwing away 5 bags of stuff and donating like my wardrobe away
oh well at least the bright side to it is
There are more space for more!

It was a good way to end the last day of tuition 2009
Jiayun and Daren
all things spilled :O
and Benjamin and me,
well,
the only spectators around
TATA 2009
it seems to have ended in some parts anyway

promises that aren't kept
and downright lies
you're the connoisseur babe

one of those lipstick moments, sealed for the moment with a kiss

2009-11-22T00:30:00.000+08:00

Day One of the holidays.

oh gosh why do 13 year old guys look so super tall?

its not that its threatening,

just,

very misleading.tsk tsk

bloghopped around and it was like waltzing over graves.that's how dead.hmmm

watched Taken again, while making cookies, again.

oh and the Shepherds Pie

yum : D

it just suddenly occurred to me if anyone actually realize how time flies.

all the changes, not by cell count but by experience, by walking in and out trouble[for certain people in the sense of fame, fortune, luck, bruises, kisses, trust and f.r.i.e.n.d.s]

i read that a normal human changes their circle of friends or just friends in general every 7 years. the number scared me.

but i guess there are some truth in it.

we have the kindergarten/preschool friends who IF doesn't end up in the same school will slowly loss each other.

duh right?

then primary which will change after reaching secondary.

then what after?

college, pre U and then

...

tower horns

(also widely known as Menara Gading in Malaysia)

and these are the ones who you normally end up sticking with for the rest of your adulthood?

sure, we have a lot of exceptions but doean't it make you wonder?

the strangeness out there.

oh btw,

a little intro

MY LATEST MUSE

she doesn't bite:)

*convinces self*

a dedication to one

2009-11-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

HAPPY

16TH

BIANCA

for being the

funnest

bubbliest

happiest

bounciest

best baker

i've ever met

LOVES

2009-11-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

I think
I'm going to puke.
barf.
vomit?

oh yeah this is SO outta my system
adieu~

it didn't have to be this way, and you know it C:

2009-11-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

I remember how you told me secrets we'd laugh silently about, no matter how strange.

strange isn't it?

Sandra and I successfully made shepherds pie today,

the sense of satisfaction was awesome!

and i know the word awesome is overrated but still awesome nonetheless

books have been flying of the shelves and gathering less dust now

facebook has lost its purpose, not entirely NOW,

i'm currently happyfying over something that's probably nothing

aduhhh

*sigh*

WHY MUST 4S1 be so kiasu?

the teachers to be exact

BIO DUE IN 2 DAYS!

what's the rational?!

people.

tell me if you see it cause frankly,

i don't

-.-

and physics,

i don't personally have anything against it but sometimes,

too much of something is not nice nor pleasant.

HAPPY SWEET ohgoshbenjaminanddarenwhathaveyoudone? SIXTEENTH DRINA!!!!!!

oh and i realize i hit people when i'm agitated or because it's some deformity reflex i possess

i apologize if you see this

this room here is silent

i can hear every whisper of the wind from the outside

it makes me wonder how big is this world and how much i can actually know about it

the silence has been interrupted

right now all i can hear is the acoustic xing tiao playing on my phone

and then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry

2009-11-09T23:33:00.000+08:00

screamshoutshot
things may never seem like what it seems
because you make assumptions that fit your thoughts and you convince yourself it's true
hear this out,
i can prove you wrong

staying up tonight when i've been staying up forever

2009-11-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

somehow i feel

RELIEVED/RELIVED

EZ YOU BETTER BE POMPOMING WITH ME TONIGHT!!!

she thought she wasn't beautiful enough, so she tried.

2009-11-08T09:40:00.000+08:00

you're very worried

why?

i'm not going away.yet

and i will heal

I used to think I had a lot of problems,

worrying about all the stars in the sky,

worrying if they would fall down one by one to earth,

that i have to catch them all before they reach and burn the earth

and then there will be no stars to worry for again

no stars to twinkle again

and then one day,

while i was counting the number of skies in the sky,

i saw another girl,

she was looking up at the sun,

she was having tears in her eyes so i asked

why?

and she pointed at the sun and whispered,

she's going to fall one day,

and she sniffled then said,

but there's nothing i can do about it,

at all

when it does happen,

i can't catch it,

and it will burn the earth and there will be nothing left

nothing at all

Hiding in the closet, it's just you and me and your promise of no skeletons.

2009-11-02T20:38:00.000+08:00

There should be rounds of toasts

EFF MORAL

got effing stupid crappy shitty marks

not to mention being like what

THIRTY MARKS

behind the highest score in class

EFF

i swore not to swear but

EFF

A balloon deflates

A ball deflates

A tyre deflates

A heart does too

But she has soda bicarbonate

Not too long before after

2009-10-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

that wasn't too bad

it was horrible

NOW I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME IN MY HANDS

wonderful

this has probably been my three LONGEST week i've ever encountered

Ipoh has too much of a small space

it's like moving in a womb

suffocated

It's Halloween now:)

i wanna play with pumpkins

i wanna hollow them out and light little candles in it

it's so nice to scare

why can't we go treat-or-treating?

why not?

Digi's been having sucky connections lately

or maybe they just don't like me

TWLOHA<3

you're loved.

2009-10-23T22:44:00.002+08:00

so it's a game now.

alright.

Do you know that raw un-cooked spaghetti can never be broken into two halves exactly?

there will always always be fragments, no matter how tiny, that will chip away from the straw of spaghetti

wondrous:)

Staying stoical is a start

it's a very good start.

Now i'm waiting for the exams to be over so i can start song writing

or poetry

or something like that

ahem

"menzahirkan emosi"says Serene,

oh and yes, the History Textbook too

WHY MUST THE MANCHESTER UNITED and Liverpool GAME BE HELD ON SUNDAY NIGHT AT TEN,

THE DAY BEFORE ALL OUR THREE BIO PAPERS?

damnit

splash baby splash!

2009-10-18T20:08:00.002+08:00

PERKY PINK RAN OUT :( :( :(

Sundae gave me a tummyache

It's nice to have a five-day break

It's nice to buy some sick time

I shouldn't be eating McD's in front of this TiVo

AH THE LITTLE BOY IN THE NAKED BROTHERS BAND IS SO ADORABLE

*squeals*

I'm this closer to hitting the waters,

here baby:)

yearns that don't yield

2009-10-17T07:59:00.003+08:00

sick?

not sick?

well?

unwell?

EVERYONE'S BEEN AWOL

i'm hoping they are for the better reason(s)

"so how'd you build the sentence for serat?"

"ermm...it's in vege and grains right?"

I can't make a sentence for the word SERAT in the BM paper

tell me how dumb can i get

and and

anyone knows what BARANG-BARANG WANITA means?

yes it came out in our paper

I had strange dreams last night

again and again and again.

A big majority of people who suffer from amnesia or memory loss will still remember things like daily talk and everything,

just memories that are gone

so so cool right?

Sharing is caring:)

if every miss is counted in teardrops, you've gotten yourself a 26 December 2004 repitition

2009-10-11T12:32:00.006+08:00

In the past week

I have :

watched Mulan

watched Aladdin

watched Treasure Planet

watched TinkerBell and The Lost Treasure

watched The Incredibles

I BLAME 615 FOR HAVING THEIR MOVIE MARATHON PROGRAMME

*scoffs*

and i've come to a conclusion i have not voiced out since childhood

I HATE GOOFY :/

even his son Max is okay

sorry Disney

he's seriously a factory reject to me

it is now a single :(

2009-10-11T12:24:00.002+08:00

A little more luck then a little bit

2009-10-10T10:41:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY, WORLD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNCLE ANSON

someone's day is today too

AGH

can't.remember :(

*headpalms*

when you can see,

everything is beautiful

or ugly.

but when you can't,

all you can do is feel and hear the sentimental strands left in it.

trust is really an easy word to manipulate

because it manipulates itself and the ones holding on to it.

if i could,

i would open Pandora's box again,

this time,

i'll reverse the process.

where are you?

and we could help each other

off the ground

so we'll never fall down again

your head is where i'll hit, whether warm or not

2009-10-04T00:27:00.002+08:00

"HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL!"

"noooo, it's Happy Mid-Autumn Festival"

I hanged these

yeah they are the extinct lanterns of our age

feel the pride

scallops and prawns

one teenie portion of the hefty portion there

+mooncakes(oh how can one forget?)

+wine

+tea

+moonbiscuits?

+marinated kiwi and orange pork ribs

+taiwanese sausages

+cake

++++++

obviously i won't be writing a menu here

IWANTHIM

he's playing peek-a-boo in his playpen

my gosh these kids are darn adorable

the rest are around somewhere

I drank 22karat gold sparkling wine

no i ain't kidding

11% alcohol only

quite mild

i didn't turn color

HAH!

do i relly look like i can't hold a grudge?

like i can just forget every.damn.thing?

wasabi-bleached

2009-10-03T18:28:00.002+08:00

Now look what you've done..

Where am I suppose to place all my concern now?

Geethanks.

Mooncakes oh mooncakes

oh the colors and taste

Sorry Anna sorry :(

2009-10-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

I applaud China

FUH

once upon a fairytale in an old forgotten dream

2009-09-27T09:25:00.004+08:00

where are we?KL?

no, we're in Chemor

GEE must these places be so faraway?

I bought your favourite ice cream

I don't wanna see it melt away

MY O'SHEA SCORED

*grins*

SIGNS THAT YOUR BLOG IS DEAD

1 you haven't updated for 3 weeks or more with no earlier notice about it

2 your every other update is a promise for an update

3 you say your blog is dead

4 your chatbox/comments have been all about 'what happened to your blog?',

'UPDATE!'

and

'dude your blog is dead'

I TRUST INSTINCTS SO SHOULD YOU

I TRUST SHOULDERS TO ALWAYS BE THAT ONE TO SOAK TEARS

I TRUST WORDS FOR THEY ARE WHAT ONE HAS TO SAY

I TRUST LIES BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS TRUTH IN IT

I TRUST

and I won't regret it

I currently feel like raisins in Ice Cream Soda

immanotkidding

seriously

go try it and you'll know what i mean

If it's yours

it will always stay that way

so don't fret

hiding behind curtains.peekaboo!

2009-09-25T20:37:00.003+08:00

GAH

History

GAH

my crap i don't know what i don't know

HOW TO STUDY?

i'm so in trouble

fyi

I AM NOT GAY

any blind person can see that

i think

I CAN SMASH!!!

oh you better watch out now

I'm super hyper and super greedy

*evil glints*

shall we dance?

It's a four-walled promise

2009-09-25T09:14:00.004+08:00

I love music?

I love cassettes.

It's a world of laughter a world of tears

It's a world of hope and a world of fears

someone sing the next line?

stupid i can't remember the lyrics

I just realized my whipped cream is tasteless

well it'll be safe for diabetics

Guess icing/confectioners sugar ain't sweet enough

but if you are a milk person it'll taste alright

I found my yogurt :O

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!!

ILU <3

fightingfishesblowingbubbles

2009-09-21T14:52:00.002+08:00

I wasted one monday one sunday and one saturday

Haunting Sarah is a nice watch

I don't want to see her

Stop making me, please.

I'm tired of trying

I ain't strong

How do i reply to nothingness?

more than meets the twinkle of the eye

2009-09-20T21:28:00.003+08:00

Likie?

me too:)

oh the fake enthusiasm

2009-09-20T15:42:00.005+08:00

Don't like me

Thankyou

It's better now isn't it?

It's worth a scream if i can wake up one day with an empty mind,

solitudeness,

silence.

No effing reminisces or flashbacks, or

to be pulled into memories as deep as blackholes

she hurts my eyes

it's the ugly truth

HAPPYBEAMS

i've cleared up some confusion

i've settled some scores

i've drawn many smilies to make me smile

i've been lulled to sleep nicely

i likie

Wang Shixuan from China who plays badminton has Eunice's ears

i don't know why i noticed

but i did

*head scratch*

super holidays

2009-09-17T20:18:00.003+08:00

Mrs Lee started off today's assembly today saying :

"Malaysia......is full of surprises.

Sometimes pleasant and sometimes, not so pleasant.

But today it is a pleasant surprise"

I'm not saying i ain't grateful, I am:)

FIONA I WANT THE CUPCAKES!

*hides in waiting in thou kitchen*

50kg is my target now

2 more steps and I'm there

I need a badminton partner

I want to buy a squash racket

I want to play ping pong using a tennis ball

Life is too short to be wasted doing logical things

Let's wear a swimsuit to the gym

ye gods i hope the gym instructor won't chase us out

I want to own a kindergarten

and it will only have adorable kids that i will groom and mould into wonders whilst their growing

I will make ~~love~~ hate potions

because i can't >__<

AND

I'm glad some people have started studying

it is a small form of motivation to me

Both of you are cowards you hear me?

C TO THE O TO THE W TO THE A TO THE R TO THE D

swoons

2009-09-17T20:16:00.001+08:00

Lyrics

Cheeseberry and raisin nuts :D

2009-09-13T17:32:00.010+08:00

A wish on today...that day?

i'm waiting for it to come true

pretty ain't it?

it's yum as well

This is very worth buying

The cream becomes cold when melting in mouth

Ask Jill and Jo :P

*sighhhh*

ain't he just ADORABLE?

The mom~

He bit me last night

-.-

but he's still so 'suai'

what to do?

MY POINT CAFE

location : in the same row as Harvest Sanctuary and Aberdeem Cafe

reviews : *both thumbs up*but only for main courses. The lamb there is succulent enough and not at all hard to chew on:) not an easy find. BUT the drinks there isn't worth it. tastes like those drinks you get during buffet style dishes. macam air tambah pewarna tambah perisa. ergh.

I made Lemon Cheese Tarts at midnight last night while watching the Man City-Arsenal game

my first time baking at midnight

and my smart dad had to make me cook laksa for supper at the same time

PERFECT TIMING

most tiring i must say

i just hope i won't have the sudden urge to do THAT again

>.<

*pictures up later*

i miss late night webcamming

Muse for the day : Rascal Flatts

what hurts the most

is being so close

and having so much to say

and watching you walk away

I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, ......

2009-09-12T13:40:00.004+08:00

if you promise a girl anything

you better be prepared to give her the world

for you shall give her whatever it is she wants

without fail

my printer isn't working

i can't print all my lyrics out

there's a song stuck in my head

i'm going nuts

i made sushi today

dad said it tasted FANTABULOUS

but my thanks would go to Sandra for making the rice herself[extra sweet and more vinegar to perfection] and the Japanese eggs ohsoyummy*licks lips*

OH:O

i had to teach a few groups

ohno it doesn't feel like having those chef hats on your head kinda thing

more of like...

"First you dip the tips of your fingers in water like this"

*the opposing dunks whole palm into bowl of distilled water*

"Next you spread the rice about a grain thick to about 3/4 of the nori"

*the opposing chucks a fistful of rice and makes a full size carpet over the poor brittle nori"

"Then you add the ingredients[cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, egg strips, crabsticks, etc] in a straight line in the middle and squeeze a bit of mayo on it"

*the opposing sprinkles ingredients beautifully all across the rice and adds in a very very healthy proportion of mayo"

"Now roll the sushi mat over the rice but be careful to keep the top side of the mat upwards"

*the opposing rolls the sushi, sushi mat included, into a roll and grins*

What a day

it was enjoyable at least ;D

who cares how the sushi looks like

it'll be going down into our tummy anyway and will resemble chyme

and you do NOT want to know what that looks like

Really...

just a short walk down the dark alley

you can whisper in my ear 'cause i know no ones looking

Indeed if it is true love, it prevails. Indeed if she had done so, so be it.

2009-09-07T19:29:00.005+08:00

and because you can't go online

I'M DEVOTING EVEN THAT ONE DAY ALL TO YOU

plus the other 23 as of today

THE FRIENDSTER CAFE

reviews : nice interior design, cute red chairs, menu ala Kopitiam(mark on paper) and with zilch pictures, food is a fair thumbs up and blended drinks are :D and pricing wise is very affordable.surprisingly

Up:-

1. is a fresh change from the usual concept of family movies aka The Ice Age 1,2 and 3, The Incredibles and so on...

2. is touching and cute

3. has a VERY ~~strange?unique?~~interesting title

4. promoted the topic sterility which, frankly speaking, isn't something we get in our normal family movies and are normally in chinese dramas?

5. wouldn't be something I'd like to rewatch again alone but with certain combination of people, let's :]

i really want to keep things.UP?

OMONA

the retelling of Cinderella by Cameron Dokey

yes it's a classic

Title:

-Call After Midnight-

IS AWESOMENESS!

maybe because i'm such a romantist

tsk tsk

i wouldn't know

BUT...

it was sweet with a twist and use of Old English? no wait it's not, i don't know how to describe it but she uses words that melt

*melts*

*tears*

my brother looks like a samseng

i'm worried

very very worried

2009-09-06T15:27:00.000+08:00

The love of my life died.

call after midnight

2009-09-06T12:52:00.003+08:00

Today's Menu

-Chocolate Fondue-

To make my favourite:)

First,

get as much Cameron's fresh strawberries as you can, wash and then chop of the tuft of green hair.

Second,

skewer it.

Third,

freeze it

Fourth,

make the chocolate fondue by melting Vanhoutten Dark and some Hersheys baking chocolate together with some whipping cream over a water bath

and VOILA!

it's done.

nyam nyam nyam=P

I want this!

gorgeous chic:)

The London miniature Bus

-the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow after a short shower on a sunny day-

one word texts and no replies

2009-09-05T13:11:00.006+08:00

it takes a little fall and catch

and it doesn't mean it's SOMEONE

and i still stand by INSPIRATION

though the origins i stand corrected

THE ISLAND RED CAFE

reviews : not THAT interesting despite being in a nice location

designs are O.K and so so only

that's how boring it is there

AND THEIR WIFI WON'T WORK

-.-

those are pearl-ball wannabes

but really nice to munch on

JUICY:P

IT'S A FOUR ~~dark chocolate wrappers~~LEAVED CLOVER ~~on a stabilo pencil~~

Jianshangg oh Jianshyangg

i still wanna learn the double hearts one!

the dragonfly looks new

i've never seen such nice designs on their wings

CHOC-DROPS

as of today

AS PROMISED:)

butterfly

fly

away

DASH!

2009-09-05T10:46:00.002+08:00

so it isn't just me

that's comforting:)

I DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS AT ALL

despite the obvious lack of shut-eye/beauty regime

and it's only four days

currently waiting for my batter to solidify before baking

and debating with myself on hell-a-lot-of headache-ing matters

excuse the strange string of grammatically wrong vocabulary

BREATHE:)

it's easier done when someone reminds you to

HAS THE H1N1 DIED DOWN YET?

bajeebers i want to release a new virus

one that'll turn everyone into a lovesick PINK puppy

HAH!

I LOL AT OUR CLASS BLOG :P

boy am i glad

boy am i happy

boy am i pleased

boy am i pissed

boy oh boy

2009-08-31T18:38:00.003+08:00

Someone go and invade Serene's blog and listen to that song

and for some kicks

Click

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/lilyallen/fuckyouverymuch.html

Enjoy:)