I've never hung up on anyone before. Not that I remember. And not that abruptly. Thanks for being the first.
Yeah maybe I was throwing a tantrum. I refuse to be treated this way anymore. No sirree. I've been treated this way enough.
Every time I feel like I've found my footing, someone pulls the carpet under me away.
Finding the truth about what you are really passionate about is the hardest. Because you need to make a call on whether or not you want to change from the person you were before or continue to live what you assume is better.
These days, I get a turmoil of feelings. I get into situations where I don't even know what to do any more. But I've also had some of the best moments in my life to date. Compared to last year, I am pretty happy right now. I'm not in love with this place. And "yet" could be a possible ending to that sentence.
I love my work. I thank God for granting me this job to do something I am truly happy doing. I'm glad I took the time to look for the job too. Opportunities like these don't just fall on your lap. Working with an autistic kid now. He's ten and quite mature for his age. Usually I have to make sure he follows a set of routines but just this holiday, I've been spending time to get to know him. He has an amazing grandmother and we get along very well. Just this holidays I've been ice-skating about...four times now? And I've never ice-skated before. Getting better at it. The realization about how unco I am embarrasses me. Enough said.
Well these two weeks, I'm almost as relaxed as I was last summer holidays. Good sign bad sign? Didn't study much but spent some time brushing up on my UMAT. I dislike the new interface though. Just saying. So to date, I've watched The Lorax, Pirates (accompanied the kid to watch), The Lucky One and Les Miserables. A whole tub of Moven-pick Stracciatella ice-cream shared in one sitting during one of the movies. Yeah Diabetes 2 in the making. I'll be moderate from now, no promises, but I'll try.
Was viewing some of my friends' photos. I have great respect for people who do not sit around and wait for things to happen. They make things happen. They actually put words into action. And they keep their word too. I vow to at least try. And here's hoping that everything works out.
Wow kinda awkward.
I'M SCARED/SICK OF BOYS NOW. Thought for the day. I'm out.
Wow, Joevy, you're growing up.
Must I stop acting like a kid then?
HAD THE BEST BIRTHDAY BY FAR. (even though the feeling of growing old is creeping up to me haha) I was speechless the whole night. Almost. My first year with a birthday cake for my own. All the years before I shared my birthday cake with my grandmother 'cause we have the same birthday. I didn't mind it though. I love my grandma she's amazing. Both my mom and grandma are amazing people. The things they've gone through. The amount of support I've had from them. Countless, priceless.
Took the afternoon to go shopping and gave myself a treat to Lush and indulged just a little bit. Just a tad...oh dear why bill so long :( ANYWAY then took my cousin for cakes/muffins at Muffin Break. and throughout I was just looking for bracelets. SO IN LOVE WITH THOMAS SABO AND PANDORA so was checking out prices and the like. I told myself that I would most definitely save up for one. I have been anyway. And mommy said I could get something for myself so I was quite happy (:
So we went to Nando's for dinner and Nadine got me a chocolate cake from The Cheesecake Factory but had to leave early because she had to babysit. Most of everyone I invited came and all who RSVPed turned up. Awesome. I love people who keep their words. So I sat at the head/foot of the table at the beginning but it was virtually impossible to hold a conversation with anyone towards the end of the table without having the whole table go shush and made it sound like some formal meeting and I was some CEO carrying out a plan. Haha. So what I did was change to the middle of the loooong table and voilà, problem solved. :)
It took awhile for everyone to warm up to conversations cause I guess most of us were hungry anyway. Everything after was <3. It's true, someone once told me to not worry when holding events/parties. You can't satisfy everyone so just let everyone entertain/enjoy themselves. Emily Sek called all the way from Australia and pretty much had dinner with us :D
Skipping some details cause if I go on this post is going to be...lengthy. Cake cutting time...pictures on facebook but er...not very attractive. Anthony said to hold the knife upside-down for good-luck. Apparently some Iranian culture/belief. O.o Jing-yuan helped cut the cake after. SUGAR OVERLOAD but it was sooooo good *licks lips* and then asdfghjkl present-opening time. Almost made me cryyyyyyy they freaking got me that bracelet I was soooooo....touched. Bracelet was from Michael Hill and charm from Pandora. IN PINK HOW CAN I NOT FALL IN LOVE? HOW? Awesome group present from Vivek Mat Eric and Song. And Jing-yuan got me this double chocolate drink in a bottle. It's not a once only drink unless I wanna go on a one-way diabetic road. Haha. Gonna save it for my winter moments <3 Liz (new friend I met at uni and also super close friend with Jing) got me a hand-warmer. *melts* POLAROID 'NUFF SAID. Only ever mentioned it ONCE in passing how to not melt? :') L'Occitane pack and earrings and body shop pack from Amy Anthony and Wendy. A pink jewellery box from my Biomed peeps which I coukd not fit in the picture! :/ (btw Picnik is closing WHAI?)
She better stop what she's doing lest she wants to loose those that matters most to her. Pray, pray for that devil in her to go away. She's a nice person. Let her be.
On the other hand, I'm currently in sick mode. Very very sick mode. And I hate the fact that I feel needy when I'm sick. I don't want to need anyone. But I can't help it when I can't help myself function. I shouldn't rely on people.
Exams are in 2 days. What the hell am I doing.
Missing my gramma and grandpa. A lot.
I thought the past would remain there. In the past. But I guess it's true what they say, the skeletons in your closet come and jump back at you when you least expect it.
I don't know why, but I can never shake of that uneasy feeling when she's around.
Today, I found out I have less than a week to prepare for 4 tests that's going to be approximately 40% of my marks for each subject. I.am.screwed. And just a few days ago, the results from my UMAT scores proved disappointing. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I have time when everyone assured me I won't.
Just read: The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold. Cold, but I couldn't help but wonder what would one do when they're at their breaking point? Yes, you. I'm so worried. And it sucks that I'm unable to do anything. I wish things were just a little bit different. A little? No, a lot.
